Polo Payback

Polo Payback A Tale of Speed, Agility and Desperation

Polo. The singular word conjures up images of Jaguars, Grey Poupon, make-shift picnic tables on the tailgates of Range Rovers, children stomping horsehoof divots while dressed in their Sunday best, ladies with big hats, gentlemen saying “please,” “thank you” and “brilliant”—and, of course, the effervescent smell of horse dung.

But what about polo on mountain bikes? For the few who have participated in such a harrowing and fun-filled event, memories of bike collisions, whacked shins, low-speed tumbles and superfluous amounts of consumed microbrew fill the mind. For me, the only mountain bike polo memory which remains vivid is the time my teammate displayed a tremendous amount of speed, skill, coordination and, most importantly, unsportsmanlike conduct—which resulted in our trium- phant victory over The Schloogs.

It all took place at a small community “fat tire festival” back in 1995 at a park outside Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. As an aspiring trials rider who could molest picnic benches with incessant hopping and lunging, my marginal skill and balance would be useful in bike polo. Each team had four members, and after witnessing my fledgling trials skills bouncing around the park, Pete, Sam and Gary recruited me to be on their team. Considering I was still in high school, the guys referred to me as “the kid.”

Although my three adult teammates were intense competitors, Sam was a cut above everyone else. His motto was, “I train to win. And if I can’t win, I don’t train”—which probably explained why he’d quit racing years before. However, on this day, a day of relaxing and having fun, Sam desperately wanted to win the inaugural mountain bike polo tournament. Desperately.

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